Edge Hugging – The Pros and Cons


They’re safe but dangerous. I know this NOT because I live on an island that has around 106km of cliff hemming it in from the sea. I know this because if edges were the hippest new psychological  hangout, I’d be the poster child.

I’ve hovered on the edge of books that I’ve longed to write.

I’ve tinkered on the edge of major adventurous shenanigans that I’ve yearned to live.

I’ve twiddled my thumbs, whilst humming and glancing sideways at delicious jobs, opportunities, dreams, ideas and theatre that I would reaaalllly like to find myself immersed in.


You’re there with me?

You know these edges too?

Staying on the edge of potential “stuff” feels safe because it allows us to sit in our comfort zones of mild longing and hopeful procrastination.

Edges feel safe because, by not moving, we are able to maintain our set ego, fixed identity and avoid the risk of possibly failing – or succeeding – and  the resulting transformation that will bring.

Let’s face it – there’s a certain sweet pleasure in hanging out in the pre-manifestation phase where the piece of art we long to make remains pristine in our mind’s eye.

Yet, whilst we remain on the edge everything is possible, but nothing actually happens.

And that leads us to the danger.

Edges are dangerous because nothing happens and you can get stuck there; stuck in the endless preparation; stuck in the cycle of avoidance. We never move beyond our ideas. In fact, our ideas, like lemmings, fall off the cliff or simply evaporate like the dust on butterfly wings when we try to capture them in cupped palms.

Disempowerment and defeat sit on the edge with us. They’re funny old companions, detrimental to the spirit and destructive to your sense of self worth.

So, the only real option is to find a way to practice moving off the edge.

To do this, you need three things.


By stepping beyond your psychological edge, you will change.

You surrender the control of how you imagine things can be and have the strength to face what the situation is going to be. You will no longer be in the innocent womblike space of possibility. Instead you’ll be in the full throes of creation and manifestation.

This can be a scary unknown / loss of control. It can require big courage to lean into.

Thankfully though, the more you develop the muscle for change, the easier it gets and the less courage is needed.

A good tool to help give you courage is to make a list of all of the pay-offs you’ll get by having the courage to dive into your THING. Then make a list of all of the costs to you and your well-being by remaining wedged on the edge. If you are someone who is pain-driven, make your list of costs big. If your motivation is pleasure-driven, make your list of pay-offs juicer than the costs of staying stuck.


The older you get the harder it can become to be a beginner.

A major fear for many people is not so much failing at something, but being a beginner and looking daft.

Maybe the situation you face as you move out of the psychological edge will require you to learn new skills. Maybe more skills than you realised. Possibly you’ll realise that in order to move away from the edge of an idea and into the immersion of living a thing, you’ll have to practice. Practice – A LOT.

You might end up in a class with a bunch of people 20 years younger than you. That could bruise your ego and make you feel stupid.

You might a pull a muscle in your inner thigh and then realise you’re gonna have to stretch a whole lot more to master a new skill (this happened to me a month ago when I decided that it would be a good idea for me to learn kick-boxing).

All this is something you’ll need to weigh up along the way.

And when faced with such an ego-bashing, you’re going to need a tonne of boldness in your bones.

Boldness in the face of beginning is the power in the kick that will propel you away from the edge and into the lagoon of DOING THE THING.

And yes, maybe you’ll get into the lagoon of action and realise that you don’t want this thing after all. In which case you can boldly move onto the next thing.

Better that than languishing on the edge of a longed-for idea that whispers to you when you’re on your death bed.


To confidently move away from the edges of our dreams and into the hot water of manifestation, we need to value ourselves.

Yup, we’re gonna have to recognise the value we bring to the world, to our lives, to other’s lives.

We’ll be needing to let go of the belief that we’re somehow not good enough or the fear we can’t cope with the demands of failure, ego-bashing, reworking, revising and instead TRUST that we can handle it.

I can hear you sighing.

I can hear the echoes, “yes but, I’ve TRIED to believe I’m good enough, I’ve tried to change my thought-patterns, I’ve spent hundreds on therapy to untangle my messy past that ingrained deep seated beliefs that everyone else is better than I am.”

And to that I’d like to say this …

WHAT IF it was very simple.

WHAT IF knowing that you are good enough was as simple as a feather of an idea falling into your mind and resting gently on your brow.

WHAT IF it wasn’t some concrete obstacle that you need to chisel at with gritted teeth for half of your life.

What if self trust and knowing you are good enough was just a choice.

A decision.

A soft shrug of the shoulders and declaration of “I’m good enough. Just because.”

This could possibly be the most powerful edge you could ever propel yourself from; the edge of “I’m not good enough” into the lagoon of “I’m good enough – because I’ve decided I am.”

Imagine what would happen in your life as a result of this microscopic shift edge-jump!

Once we’ve ticked courage, boldness and self trust off the list, moving away from the edge then requires one final push:

the physical, outward, full-Yang hit of ACTION.

For example:

Booking the sessions to learn the instrument.

Stepping onto the dance floor and finding the rhythm.

Locking in the hours to write the book.

Making the date and showing up at that time.

Paying for the flight.

Writing the email.

These physical actions repeated again and again are the opposite of being on the edge.

They are YOU …



Hugging the edge can be a very comfortable place to stay, but just like hovering at the steps in a swimming pool, cold feet – and arms and chattering teeth – will soon set in.

Whilst hanging out on the edge is personal choice – a place where we get to keep a perfected idea in tact – only by pushing off do we get to enjoy, experience and develop our life experience to the full.

I know which choice I’ve come to prefer.

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