When I woke up at 6am this morning, came downstairs and opened the stable doors, the sky was overcast and a humid, moody wind was blowing.

A single autumnal leaf tottered across the garden in the gust. I thought, “Ah ha. Is that you out there Autumn?”

Made a coffee and drank it, still standing in the doorway.

Then, with Ads’ help I went out barefooted and strapped the surfboards to the top of the car.

By 10am Autumn had vanished and Summer was lording it over the land once more. Ads was preparing a Yoga Breakfast at Castlehaven Beach Café and I was further west, on a much more rugged beach, in the milky sea with the three children.

There were hardly any waves

But I stayed in the water with Roo

 Whilst Pix and Reid cracked open stones to look for crystals and fossils.

Then, covered in salt and seaweed, we got into our ratty little car and drove back along a road that, usually is long and quiet, but this summer has been crawling with traffic. The cliff tops were littered with cars, people, tents and camper vans. The beaches were strewn with towels and wind breaks.

I dropped off Pix.

I brought Roo and Reid home.

We’ve been bunking down all day.

Which is kind of what we’ve been doing every day this week.

Since last Sunday I’ve had this intuition that I need to stay home and strip everything back;

Return to the dust,

To the sea salt,

The oak floorboards

And the wooden kitchen table

Where I sit and draw.

I don’t know if it’s the time of year or everything that’s happened this year or the sense of invasion from Chelsea tractors and either coldly distant or overly friendly tourists … but I’m definitely feeling like I just wanna be at home.

In my fortress.

Or doing stuff like this. Of course.

But mainly I’ve been here at home.

Reflecting on questions like this:

What am I going to do next? What’s my new chapter? Based on everything that Covid has taught me and the changes it’s brought to my life, what now?

As a woman who is nearly 40, what do I know about myself?

What do I need?

What delights me? What ACTUALLY lights me up? How can I build more of my life around THAT?

What excuses am I making and what things am I putting off based on those excuses?

How can I more fully enjoy this strange, beautiful experience called life?

Am I prepared to use my time to more fully step into myself and bring my work to the world in a way that serves the planet and doesn’t just churn out more waste and “product”.  

Good questions to ask yourself whilst the world outside is sizzling.

Also good questions to ask when Autumn is knocking on the door.

I wonder what the answers will be … and what adventures will unfurl from them?

Sending love as always.

From my home to yours. xxx