Lockdown Week 15 In Review
As we know, life ain’t all the good stuff.
It’s a mashed up, interwoven spaghetti world of nice and nasty, up and down … and everything in between.
We live on an ever shifting seesaw of polarity and duality – and that, my friend, is just how the cookie crumbles.
One polarity that I know well is: integration /disintegration (OR) coming together / falling apart.
Main disintegration phase: My 20s. The sudden death of my dad, then 3 years later, the murder of my brother and then 3 years later a very turbulent divorce with my ex husband.
There is nothing quite like a family broken by grief or a a family broken by divorce to make you feel like your life is a crazy jigsaw in which none of the bits fit together. During these periods of time I acted – as best I could – like a functioning adult, but on the inside I felt like a baffled, disjointed toddler whose toys didn’t seem to work properly.
Then came the periods of coagulation and integration:
Miraculous coming together. Being in the right place at the right time. Experiencing an almost surreal ability to create and bring together. The feeling that everything is in place and there’s a strong foundation to build, create and evolve.
These times feel powerful, meaty and breath-taking. And after a slow coming together of re-integration over a couple of years, lockdown seems to have triggered a sudden integration growth-spurt.
I know this time has been bad for a lot of people. It has also been valuable and healed a lot of things for other people.
For me it been like an incubation unit. New things have hatched and those things are predominantly good.
As we move out of this strange period of history, mine and Adam’s lives look and feel very different to when we walked in.
We walked in with two businesses. We’re coming out with two different businesses. We walked in a married couple whose lives were fractured, we’re walking out as a definite team. We walked in with a 14 year old whose voice hadn’t broken. We’re walking out with a 15 year old surfer, with a gravelly voice and who can now put his chin on my head. We walked in with certain priorities. We’re walking out with gold dust in our knap sacks.
Certain things we’re looking forward to reclaiming in our lives. Other things we feel so much lighter to be free of.
The week ahead heralds the launch of our new business venue. The week just gone has been the laying of the stones and sticks to light that new fire.
It’s been mental. And I’m tired … but good tired.
I hope you guys have all had a good week too.
Also, I hope that you also recognise the powerful polarities in your life and where you are currently positioned within them.
The truth is that neither end of the spectrum is superior to the other. Polarities compliment each other with dangerous finesse and it’s THIS edge that infuses our lives with such beautiful, messed up glory. xx
Surfing / wave birthday cake for Roo’s 15th.
I made a modelling clay surfer but overbaked it. The whole whole house stunk of plastic and the surfer looked like he’d had a fight with a blowtorch.
Cake turned out well though!
Teaching Reid about continents.
I was trying to explain that two thirds of the world’s population lives in Asia – and was then trying to teach him what a third was using an orange.
“Reid, imagine that this orange is EVERYONE in the world,” I said.
He looked at me with complete confusion.
“This orange,” I said, holding it up and prodding it. “Imagine it’s all the people in the world …”
He looked even more confused.
“So the people all live in an orange?” he said.
“No. This orange IS all of the people in the world.”
It went on like this for a long time.
Home-schooling for six year olds at it’s best. Meh.
(Fun fact I learnt whilst home-schooling the 6 year old: The land mass of Asia is larger than the land mass of the moon.)
Pulling together the branding for our next business venture.
Finding a crate full of gorgeous lettuces, kale and basil, as well as massive, dreamy hydrangea flowers on my doorstep.
Gift economies & good friends with green fingers.
Back to my BELOVED Bootcamp with the Marshes of TJs Gym.
The one on the left is my personal trainer, the one in the middle drives our boot-camp and the one on the right teaches me kickboxing.
This week I was back at a socially distanced 6am boot-camp, smashing out circuits under the sky and rising sun.
With these guys back in my mornings, life is one step closer back to how I like it.
Dusting off my sewing skills and making two large seating cushions for the benches in our holiday let.
Whilst the labradoodle decides to use them as a bed.
They came out alright!
Got to our wedding anniversary on July 1st and felt absolutely shattered.
(Combination of early starts, crazy work-load, kid’s needs/learning, meetings, preparing for the openings of the restaurants, Rowan’s birthday and insomnia kicking in).
I am happy though.
Throwing in some sneaky runs through monsoon style rainstorms just for the hell of it.
The dog hated it.
Which was her karma for refusing to get off my cushion when I was trying to sew.
Penny Dreadful – City of Angels. (No way as good as the original London based series, but I do love a magic, demon-infested plot twister. And added to that my leanings towards Mexican colour / folk magic / Day of the Dead and the 1920s/30s vibes = good recipe for a Bethan Box Set and therefore a blessing).
Our supportive network.
Reid’s lovely piano teacher.
Travel. Not that I am going anywhere. But I just love travel. And freedom. And leaning into new lands. In fact, “Yo, Travel Gods … I’m here. You can take me anytime!”
The foresight to have extended my deadline for the Rebel Beauty illustrations. Phew.
Trying to work out how the HELL I’m supposed to teach my 15 year old GCSE maths.
Lack of sleep.
The heartbreak of having to lose my beautiful Audi. Ads reckons I’ve racked up waaay too many miles, sliced thousands of pounds off the value and exceeded the average mileage of a mainlander, let alone tripled the miles of someone who lives on the Isle of Wight. I have no idea how this has happened, but I’ve had my wheels downgraded bigtime. Nooooo!
Wading through government guidelines around Covid-19 and the restaurants reopening.
Trying to work out whether it’s worth opening back up. Thinking no. Thinking yes. Thinking no. Deciding to give it a go and see what happens.
Looping episodes of Horrid Henry playing in the living room.
See my pal, Jo
Easy, fun staff trainings
Titanic energy surge that boosts all of my activities
Heightened power for fitness and working out
Strange, miraculous ability to complete all my illustrations in one hit
Successful, smooth, sleek re-opening of TZ
Blossoming, flowering, beautiful opening of TZ’s True Food Kitchen @ Castlehaven
Take my daughter out for an alfresco lunch
Have a brilliant week ahead. xx