Sunday Sage: More or Less

As women with big ideas, creative flair and massive capacity to invent gorgeousness on this planet, we will need to set some Big Goals.

But what happens when the Big Vision doesn’t come off?

What if it was not genetically destined to find its feet?

What if you’ve invested a shed load of time, energy, focus, blood, sweat, tears and lost moments into that baby?

What happens, when one day you step back and realize that what you’ve created is actually an out of control sumo wrestler that is crushing the soul out of your heart and mind?

In 2015, I had a massive wrestling match with some of my life and biz goals. There were several projects that I’d been trying to birth – projects that just weren’t happening. They’d evolved from delightful, gurgling babies who I was encouraging to walk … into sumo wrestler style goal-beasts that were pressing me down, suffocating my life force.

As I walked myself through the months and year ahead, I wanted to cry.

The path forward to push out these goals felt dark, dangerous and oppressive. Around the same time, I was writing the introduction to the Grow Your Gorgeous 2016 Daybook. I was being called to urge myself and others to follow our creative dreams, to step up and trust in the gorgeousness we can shine in this world, yet this one particular Big Vision goal was crushing me.

There comes a time when we look deep inside, deeper then we have been before. (That’s not to say that we haven’t been looking. In fact, as women of Tue Tribe, we are always looking within. And whilst many of us have been consciously creating our lives for many years, the opportunity to live even more trustingly, truthfully, creativiely and joyfully never stops.)

So, the first thing I did was to ask how I wanted my life to feel during 2016.

At the time of asking I was having my face squished against a sumo wrestling ring floor, so coming up with a nicer option was quite easy.

The answer to my question was, “I want my life to feel like a sun filled orchid house, with the doors wide open so fresh air and movement and peace can flow through. There are butterflies and bees in my orchid house of life. There is space, tranquillity but also beautiful things growing and flowering.”

After I’d decided how I wanted life to feel – I felt very relieved. The next step was to make two lists.

The first list was quite simple: it captured the essential things that I love.

I listed the things that brought me joy when I spend time doing them. This was the MORE list.

On the second list, I wrote everything that I wanted less of.

I channelled out everything that I was doing and facing that brought me angst or a sense of resistance. This was a tough list to write because it meant I was admitting that I didn’t love my sumo wrestler baby anymore. This led on to thoughts about having to let go of my Big Vision that DID add sparkle to my soul.

Despite everything, I knew EXACTLY which list made me feel happier, lighter, freer and positive about my life and was prepared to let go.

In the process of letting go, it occurred to me that the sumo wrestler was a GOAL gone wrong, not a VISION gone wrong.

My Vision of what I wanted to do was still there … it was simply the way I got there that required a fresh approach.

Up until that point it had been as if I had a foot on two separate rafts; the difficult future raft and the light, orchid house raft. The two rafts were drifting further apart and I had to make my choice very soon as to which I would hop onto. The moment that I realised that the Vision/Dream still lived and that the sumo wrestler was simply a Goal Gone Wrong, I was able to pull my foot away from that raft and watch it flurry off down the rapids … leaving me sailing along on the Orchid Raft instead.

In reality, stepping onto the Orchid Raft isn’t quite so simple and requires steps as opposed to a foot withdrawal.

Here are the five steps I am taking to manifest my More List and release the Less:


Requires: Self worth and Trust

I looked at all of the things that weren’t working for me in each of my life areas and weighed up the costs and pros of continuing with that thing. I questioned my motives and asked myself whether my action to continue was a reflection of my true worth. I then worked my way through the list and politely removed myself from the scenarios that no longer brought me peace/joy of heart/mind.


Requires: Commitment and Inner Strength

When we are struggling and fighting to get somewhere (whilst also maintaining families, friends, homes and other commitments) it puts the body under stress. The result of stress is usually bad eating, lack of exercise, poor sleep and a build up of chemicals and toxins that make the body feel even more sluggish. On the other hand, when the body is shimmering with high nutrition, radical self-care, balanced exercise and good energy, our vibration is elevated and the quality of what we manifest is elevated too.

I chose my method of physical detoxification and then began implementing the methods. This started with a  10 day green juice cleanse, which I’ll tell you more about next week.


Requires: Thought and Streamlining

Once I’d cleared my “Less Of List” there was still a lot of stuff left in my life to do. I still have three wild children, a partner in love and life, creative babies, a business  and home that never stays tidy. The key was to find ways to simplify how I lived through the systems that I was using.   Systems are anything that happens regularly in your life — chores, housework, washing clothes, school runs, etc. Our systems can either be complex or simple and the latter is possible with some thought and streamlining.

If your life has felt chaotic and wild at times and you fancy a little more Zen, then simplifying your systems would be a good move. I will be writing more on this during January.


Requires: Ruthlessness and Trips to Charity Shops

Is there anything more soul scratching than a house that is cluttered and looks as though it has been ransacked? One of my major steps in creating my 2016 Orchid House is to refine the energy that exists within the home. This would be a breeze if I lived alone in a loft apartment, with shutters, a grand piano and endless hours for doodling and reading books.

I don’t.

Cohabiting with a family and children of various ages requires continual maintenance and restoration. For me, the answer is decluttering. Even if you don’t live with a tribe of small, messy people, decluttering is still good for the soul!


Requires: Reconnecting with your List

Once the path to the Orchid House is underway, there will be more things that bustle in; engagements, systems required, opportunities to be had, ideas to be pursued. Life doesn’t stand still. Like a beautiful garden it continues to grow and change and evolve. The 5th step I am implementing is consciously (VERY consciously) choosing what I decide to take on. I still have my Lovely Vision and now that the sumo wrestler has floated downstream, I’ve redesigned my approach to it. The new goals feel like flowers in the orchid house; aligned with my sense of peace instead of wreaking havoc with it.

I believe that the key to maintaining an Orchid House (both inside your heart and in your outer life) is through practise and practices.

Returning to my More Or Less lists will be a regular practice for me during 2016.

What is your vision for 2016? Does that vision make your heart feel light or heavy?

What’s on your More List … and your Less List?

Which steps can you take to jump onto your Raft Of Gorgeousness?

Wishing you a fabulous Sunday. XXX

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