The other day Ads came into the Sanctuary to discover me sitting on the carpet (next to the scaffolding mirror), studying my phone with laser beam focus.

“What are you doing babe?” he inquired, perching on the end of the bed.

“I’m watching a video that someone has posted on Facebook,” I murmured back. I went back to the start of the video and passed the phone to Ads. Nodded at the screen, inviting him to press play.

“Watch it.”

When I said “watch it” there was a tone to my voice that suggested that this video did not deserve a half hearted viewer. There was to be none of the polite yet pained tolerance that I display when looking through my mum’s 200,000 holiday snaps.

Ads knew that this “Watch It” was important.

Something intrinsic to our very us-ness hinged on it.

He pressed play.

The video began.

I narrowed my eyes, studied his face, determined to notice if his attention flickered.

It didn’t.

He did

very

very

well.

When the video ended, he passed the phone back.

“Well?” I said.

“Well – I totally get what he’s on about. When you made us all dress up as lady-boys at your birthday party, I hated it. It is one thing dressing up as a woman, but no one wants to look horrible, do they?”

“So you really get what he is talking about?” Delight was doing cartwheels over and over in my heart. “You get what he’s realised?”

“Completely.”

Ads passed The Test with flying colours. Am not sure quite what the test was, but he got an A+. Not only did he watch, but he listened and he heard. And he had a lady-boy experience to back up his statements. I think we should all show this video to our boys. If you haven’t seen Dustin Hoffman’s interview when he recounts his experiences of playing a woman in the film Tootsie, then here it is …